Catching Snow

Sometimes I wish my little sisters could be tiny again. ;-)

Perfect Love

I've been thinking lately about how immature my love must be, for I'm seeing that my human ability to love is polluted with fear. Perfect love is supposed to cast out fear, not to tolerate fear, and certainly not to cause it. ;-) I've been thinking about how ironic it is that often when we feel ourselves beginning to care about someone in a more intense and intimate way, our feelings are surrounded by fear-- fear about what the other person thinks about us, fear regarding our own vulnerability. How imperfect our (my!) treatment of love can be.

First of all, I see how often I'm selfish when it comes to my relationship with Christ. How many times must He be saddened because I put other people or things first? I wonder if it's ever hard for Him to see me make mistakes because of how fervently He desires for me to be more mature and more like Him in His perfection. He must see how much more of me there is that I could give to Him, how much more faithfully I could do Him good and not evil all the days of my life (Prov. 31). I remember times in the past before I really had a relationship with Him when I was afraid to tell Him certain things, afraid of what He'd think if only He knew that I thought the last church service was...boring. It was as if He didn't know; I was treating Him as if He were under the delusion that I was a lot more flawless than I truly was. ;-)

And sometimes these things seem to carry over into my relationships with other people. I wish I didn't care one iota if I were to become of absolutely no reputation, as did the One I should be striving to emulate out of love unaffected by the world around me. I need to work on allowing Him to eradicate selfishness from within me. In my own struggles to love people like He does, it seems to be the main cause of the fear that taints. If I would only keep my mind even more stayed on Him, I'd find peace so much more perfect, peace not disturbed by emotions. I need Him to teach me to love people without caring whether it ever benefits me. I want to be able to love simply for the sake of loving. I want to love in the greatest sense of the word, in a willing-to-lay-my-life-down for the sake of my friends way, even in the every-day sense of thinking of them first and giving of myself time after time when it seems like it might be easier to just demonstrate my love for them once and for all with a single sacrificial plunge. If I allow my friendships to be self-centered, I'll fail miserably in keeping the two greatest commandments--to love God first and my neighbor as myself. I want to love in a way that doesn't seek it's own, that doesn't think evil, that isn't easily provoked, that isn't envious, that suffers long, that does a good job of covering sins, that bears, believes, hopes, and endures.

Love covers a multitude of sins.
Love leaves no room for a multitude of sins.

Help me not to fear...

You're a holy God, so make us wholly Yours.
You are our provider; you give us everthing we need.
Even when it feels like there are things we lack, we know that You withhold no good thing from us.
The things we see as lacks can teach us. They show us just how much we need You.
And even when this life on earth is hard and we're reminded that it's not our home, we know that You are preparing a place for us.
Prepare the people for that place.

Turn wrong directions into Your will.
Help us know that Your faithfulness is not disproved when we face trials.
Give us Your vision even in the fog of circumstances and emotion.
Remind us that blessing comes in many shapes. No earthly pleasure can match the joy of Your embrace.
And You do promise to provide for us, and we're encouraged by Your provision in the past.
Yet we know the spiritual is even more vital than the physical.
If we ever hunger, don't let us forget that our souls can eat of Your bread and drink the living water no matter where we are or what we face.
You say the righteous soul shall never famish. Let us feed on Your faithfulness, and as we grow in our trust of You, may You fulfill Your purposes for us. Teach us patience, and enable us to delight in the way in which You lead us. Be our help. Give us the desires of our hearts. Shape our desires.

Help us mature when we face disappointment. Help us grow satisfied in You alone as we face feelings that tell us that others prosper more than we. Those who despise You sometimes flourish. Yet what we possess in righteousness is greater than the treasures of many wicked, for our treasures are everlasting, imperishable, unable to be stolen. The wicked may appear as strong trees, and yet look how they wither (Ps 37). Keep our leaves ever green as we trust in You and are fully sustained by the streams of living water from the Rock of our salvation (Ps 78). We know not the limits of Your salvation and righteousness, for they are boundless. We walk in Your unlimited strength (Ps 71).

Faith

Israel, awed by Jericho’s wall,
Knew force alone would fail.
God’s orders seemed unusual—
Just walk—and you’ll prevail.

God’s children probably wondered
If orders that seemed so meek
Could destroy a mighty city
Of mockers who thought them weak…

Still they marched when God commanded,
Shouted at trumpet blast,
Saw a stronghold circled in faith
Fall to the ground at last.

When David guarded little sheep
And sang out in the field,
His brothers saw him as unfit
To fight with God as shield.

It looked absurd to see the boy
With slingshot in his hand
Challenge the Philistine warrior
Of build and armor grand.

Yet his strength lay not in slingshot
Or king’s armor lent by Saul—
A little pebble flung in faith
Is what made a giant fall.

You ask if I can conquer
The foes I face today,
If wind blowing hard upon me
Wouldn’t sweep me right away.

You say that I’m mistaken
If I think I shall prevail,
As you look at all the battles,
Storms, mountains I must scale .

How can I claim the victory
Of battles yet unfought?
My enemies have chariots,
Fleet steeds for the onslaught.

My gates, they are surrounded
By warriors so strong,
Rich with plunder from past victories;
Loud rings their battle song.

But do not be confused: although
I’m weak, you may be sure
That I’m protected by a fortress,
Tall, strong and secure.

No, I do not ride a chariot,
Or have a lance of steel—
But my God’s a man of war who
Crushes evil with His heel.

You ask how I know I’ll triumph?
And I say, see my shield,
My sword, my captain—He’s the one
Who for me wins the field.

For though I may strive and labor,
I can’t win on my own.
Yet when I rest my faith in Christ,
And walk His path alone…

And walk though I can’t see victory,
And walk when things look grim,
Then I know that I will triumph
For my faith rests in Him.

by Holly (5/07)

Show me, that I might obey...

God, show me.
Do I need to surrender?
Tell me what it is you want.
Please.
I may need help to obey,
But first I need to know
What obeying means today.
I'm willing to give things up,
But I can't give them up with peace
Unless I know You really want me to.
There isn't any joy for me in making choices
If I don't know which ones bring joy to You.
You might be showing me things, God,
But I'm so unsure.
Help my hearing.
Let me see.
I feel like a broken record, God...
But life isn't always so poetic.
I'm not asking for Your whole plan now, God.
I'm asking for one step to be shown.
I want to obey, God.
With all of my heart, I want to obey.
I do so want my life to please You.
I don't know if my human desires line up with the plans You have,
But I want to obey.
I've seen my own desires changing.
I don't know what that means or where I'm going.
I do know that I want to do what You want me to.
That might mean doing things I would naturally choose on my own.
Or it might mean doing things I've never wanted for myself,
And the only reason why I'd want them now
Is the fact that You do,
And You know what's best.
For I know it doesn't really matter what seems best to me.
My purpose doesn't lie in pleasing me.
Just show me, God.
Show me what You want, I pray.
Clearly. Today. Every day.

"What You Possess Possesses You"

Ever heard the phrase?
I’ve heard it stated many times in an anti-materialistic way.
Things bring responsibility. Things claim our time. Things claim our resources.
Our hearts can get entangled and consumed by things.

I don’t think I ever related it to the spiritual side of things, though, until I was writing a post today for the discussion forum in Western Literature class.
We’ve been studying Crime and Punishment. In the end, the destiny of one of the characters is described thus: “He did not even know yet that his new life had not been given him gratis, that he would have to purchase it dearly, pay for it by a great heroic deed…”

The statement itself sounds somewhat incorrect because of the way it’s worded. As followers of Christ, we know that redemption itself is a gift of grace without works, that no man might boast.
And yet, though we can never purchase salvation by our own heroic deeds, in one way salvation is an example of the saying “what you possess possesses you,” for out of us it draws commitment if we are to be known by the fruit we bear and the love we display.

Before we ever do anything for Christ, He loves us and is willing to give us the gift of new life if only we request it of Him. Yet we ourselves are then called to actually live in a new way. We are given Christ and the salvation that is in Him, but after we receive Christ *He* receives us as well. We become His bondservants, not because He is trying to extract payment from us for the life He freely gives, but because this new life is a commitment that inherently drives us to serve God. They shall know we are Christians by the love we now show, even though it was Christ who first loved us and whose first love is the very reason we are now capable of displaying Christ-like love.

With gifts comes responsibility. Along with new life comes the responsibility to actually live in a new way, to allow ourselves to be conformed to the image of the One who redeems but also calls us to higher things. Becoming a person who acts nobly takes practice and effort, suffering, surrender, and willingness to go through pain for the joy set before us.

I don’t want to be attached in this way to any material thing, but I surely don’t mind being possessed by Christ. I want Him…and I love how the feeling is mutual, even though He’s so much higher and wiser. If He entangles my heart in Him, claims my time, asks me to dedicate my resources to Him, that’s certainly okay by me.
He’s the one who gave them to me anyway.

I am my Beloved’s, and He is mine.

Immerse me in Your peace.
It is balm for weary souls.
It is rest from speculation.
It is trust You're in control.

It's hard to trust You, God, when You say, "Put your will there."
My heart is here, not there.
But You are everywhere, and You will be with me wherever You lead me.
Take my heart in Your hands.
Pull out every thought that was born of me, not You.
If You'd just take a scissor and cut off all protruding signs of thoughts astray,
Other people would see them as nipped in the bud.
But You see more than they see, desiring truth in inward parts.
If inner roots that I can't reach need weeding out,
If You need to disentangle thoughts or pull or re-arrange,
I give You my permission.
My heart's Yours anyway.
If the process isn't fun, that's okay.
I don't ask you to take away the pain;
Sometimes it's painful to be healed, and sometimes it's hard to be corrected.
But it's worth it.
Only take away the pain that's caused by lack of trust.
Fear doesn't change the past; it only harms our futures.

Immerse me in Your peace.
It is balm for weary souls.
It is rest from speculation.
It is trust You're in control.
And when my faith is faltering because my heart is here, not there,
Remind me You are everywhere.
You'll never lead me away from You.
And pain doesn't change the fact that in Your presence is fulness of joy.
In Your presence is fulness of joy.
In Your presence is fulness of joy.