Friday, December 22, 2006

Being perplexed, I say,
"Lord, make it right!"
Night is as day to Thee,
Darkness as light.
I am afraid to touch
Things that involve so much;
My trembling hand may shake,
My skilless hand may break;
Thine can make no mistake.

"Being in doubt I say,
"Lord, make it plain;
Which is the true, safe way?
Which would be gain?
I am not wise to know,
Not sure of foot to go;
What is so clear to Thee,
Lord, make it clear to me!"

~Streams in the Desert

Thursday, November 9, 2006

Post-Campaigning Thoughts

“This is the 400th call I’ve gotten from you people, and I’m getting sick of it,” the woman tells me when she hears why I have called.

Grating is the sound of her berating.

I don’t agree. But then, my view may be one that she’ll never see. Perhaps I ask of her something she’ll never be.

I understand. Who wants to hear the same thing even twice?

I have heard those who are disturbed to hear me speak about things that should mean more than dirt at their feet.

I’m grateful: the words I speak are not all scattered with the dust.

In life, I’ve made petitions even more crucial than for votes.

That they’ve been heard I have no doubt. Nor do I doubt that, when accepted, they are valued, even when the King I come before has already heard me call out a great many times, even when my request sounds just the same.

A plethora of conversation brings Him pleasure. Scores of seekers cry out simultaneously; still He smiles at me.

He tells me:

“Come again. All day I long to hear your voice, each night to know your thoughts.

I know the secret things already, come, talk with me about them. Don't be afraid.You’ve considered that so many times; why have we only discussed it four?

Or perhaps we’ve spoken four-hundred times already. I wish it had been more. Let’s amend the lack, increase the frequency. Even silence can be saturated with worship that means more than words express.

Speak with me more.

I’ll always answer when you knock at my door.”

Only One can I think of Who would give all He had that I might be His supplicant.

Having a good conversation with Him? Incomparable.

And for the record...campaigning was amazing, filled with close friends, awesome leaders, and dedication to work for something we believe in.
There's joy in the knowledge that even when a candidate doesn't win, He makes our efforts worthwhile. ;)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Where I belong, what I deserve,
Unsure, unworthy, scared to swerve -
My thoughts so often earthly though I'm born anew.

I know that I'm a treasured sheep
And in Your fold each night I sleep,
But after sleep, still-wearied sheep need trust that's deep.

Falt'ring seems the peace that comes
From being in Your called-out ones
And trusting thus that You shall steer me true.

Remind me that my source of joy is You.

The rest I seek consists of hope in You.
You're strength for everything I need to do.
With perfect grace and wisdom now mine, too,
Continue teaching me what pleases You.
Your own desires fulfill and change my plans into.

Paths may curve or narrow, it is true,
But courage for the course You've called me to
Lies in my knowledge that You'll see me through,
Though foes abound and sheep friends may seem few.
Don't ever let my eyes stray off of You.

Remind me that Your promises are true.
As a river, daily does Your peace continue;
It doesn't falter--just the one it's promised to.
My path is mapped, and I'm content recalling Who
Has planned good steps in ways to teach, correct, renew.

Remind me that Your promises are true.
Remind me that my source of joy is You.

Monday, August 7, 2006

Sometimes I wish that I could see clearly the entire path God has planned for my life. Frustrated I grow when I'm coming closer and closer to an intersection in my life and I don't know which way to turn...or if I should turn.
I'd like to know why the direction He tells me to take is the right direction.
I walk, but can't help thinking that I'd prefer to be flying a plane above the path so that I could look down, see where the finish line lies, and understand why He leads me where He leads me.I want the whole map.

I am so human.

I am so grateful that God is not.

How much wiser and higher than my own are His thoughts and plans.
I'm realizing that God likes to lead me one step at a time, rather than showing me all He has planned for me. It's enough to know His plans are good.
Right now I need to know the next step...and I need to know it soon.

God, help me to be diligent. Help me to be patient.
Help me to hear. Help me to be obedient.

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

It is Valentine's Day once again... and THIS time I'm celebrating! =)

You know...I've never celebrated this holiday before. I haven't really liked what the day represented in my mind, particularly when it comes to the flippant, casual dating aspect of it. It often has seemed to be simply a day that is approached with nagging thoughts of uncertainty regarding what to buy one's date, a day when people exchange chocolates and teddy bears before exchanging kisses with their "significant other"....people quite "significant" enough to be fondled this year, but "other" enough NOT to be fondled next year. That's not my kind of holiday...not the kind of love I desire to honor and celebrate.

I'd rather let today be a day when I commemorate the true meaning of love. I'd rather let today be a day that I celebrate the beauty of waiting, the beauty of not awakening love before it pleases, the beauty of the opportunity I have to save romantic love for ONE man, the beauty of Christ's passion for His church as it is reflected in PURE love between a man and woman.

This is the love that causes me to rejoice! I find joy in the knowledge that once God awakens this type of love in my heart I shall have the opportunity to see a love that is a deep, radiant, passionate reflection of the way Christ has always felt for me. I am awed by the realization that such love that may someday seem so clear to me on earth shall be just a hazy glimpse of the heavenly love that surrounds me every moment.

I see how finite I am as I try to imagine a love that surpasses all I can understand in my own mind. I fail to imagine a love that will be stronger than any human emotion I will ever see or experience. Though today I cannot fathom the the grace and compassion, mercy and forgiveness and Love of the King who gave His all for you and I, perhaps someday He may give me the blessing of glimpsing such love more closely, even on earth.

This doesn't mean that I don't feel romantic love today; nor does it mean that I must be lonely or impatient. I already do love the man I'm saving myself for. Though I don't yet know the identity of this one I love, right now I have the awesome privilege of expressing and demonstrating this love by not giving it to anyone else--by saving it for him only. I have the opportunity to delight in Christ and in the fact that God is preparing me so that when I do meet my future husband, I will be ready. I find peace in the promise that "no good thing will He withhold from them that walk uprightly" and exalt God for the knowledge that if the things I wait for are GOOD for me, then He shall not withhold them. I rest in the assurance that He knows what is good for me each step of the path along which He is leading me, and that if I feel a lack as I walk in His will, the lack I feel is something He is withholding because it is not a good thing for me in this season of my life. Today I may not see the young man I love...yet I know that if a time comes when this is a good thing for me, God shall not fail to bring it to pass.

If there is a young man somewhere who is waiting for me just as I am waiting for him....I want to tell him today that I love him....and I'm saving this love for him. This post is dedicated to him. I'm not wasting my Valentine's Day on worthless love. I'm saving it for priceless love.
This is what I'm celebrating today. I'm celebrating love. I'm celebrating God's love for us. I'm celebrating love that will show me more about God's love. I'm celebrating with those who in the harmony and faithfulness of their marriages demonstrate and embody Christ's passion and plan for his people--for His bride; I'm celebrating with those who are abiding in Christ until He reveals His plans for their lives. I'm celebrating God's flawless timing. I'm celebrating waiting.

Isn't that worthy of celebration?