So, people say that when a person is in love they almost seem to be better because of it, to act different and improved and almost more worthily. When people look at me, can they see that I'm in love? Do they think that I'm acting differently than I used to act, since I fell in love with Jesus? If He's the One who really holds the power to help us change and become more beautiful, shouldn't this "natural" reaction that people sometimes observe as a result of human love be even more pronounced in those who are spiritually betrothed to the best One of all?
I want people to see that in my life. I don't want them to think those kinds of thoughts only once they know that I'm in love with someone special here on earth. I want them to think *now* that I keep seeming different than I used to be as a result of Jesus' love for me.
I want people to look at the One who loves me and think, "I might not have thought she was beautiful, and I might not have thought she was noble, but if HE thinks she's special, she must be."
To be honest, don't most of us want to have our pride upheld by other people thinking we must have been pretty awesome stuff to have nabbed our loved one? ;
Don't most of us imagine a guy so awesome that everyone will think, "Wow, she must be something else if she can get that kind of catch!"
We can subconsciously look at romance as a pride-booster, something to convince ourselves and others of our self-worth and desirability. ;-)
I don't want to be captive to the thought that I have to marry someone other people will look at and then esteem me for transient reasons rather than godly, long lasting reasons. We need to look for guys who are like Jesus, our heavenly Betrothed. Now, I'm sure that we'll all be quite attracted to whomever we marry. ;-) But maybe not everyone will look at them and think, "Wow, he is SO comely that I want to follow after him and start a fan club for him!" Just look at Hollywood if you want to be reassured that the world doesn’t know anything about true beauty and comeliness and its unfading power.
Wouldn't it be better for people to look at him and think, "Wow...he must be married to someone special, who Jesus really loves and who Jesus is turning into someone really beautiful even though she couldn't have been beautiful in her own strength"?
And when it comes right down to it, can't we find so much more satisfaction and joy in the fact that Jesus picked us than we ever can with regard to ANY earthly romance? That we are nothing without Him isn’t just a poetic love song—it’s truth.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Friday, February 8, 2008
When Others Do Things Better than We Do ;)
It’s hard to have someone come along and surpass me in skill!
Something that God’s been trying to teach me this year is that when I love like He loves, that love will cast out fear. See, it’s so easy for me to love in a self-centered way rather than in a way that shows that I care for other people more deeply than (or even as much as!) I do for myself. Yet to love like Christ means to love unselfishly. It means that I won’t be afraid of someone else doing better than me. This is the kind of love that will destroy my fear of being surpassed by others and that will make me willing to give Him my best even if someone else is capable of showing me up and making my efforts look pitiful. Isn't it usually really my own pride, in the first place, that's worried about how good I look in the eyes of others? ;-)
If I can only learn to love like Christ, my concern will be that God get as much glory as He possibly can. The gifts and abilities He’s given to the different children in His family aren’t so that we can surpass anyone. They’re to show that our God is unsurpassable. So if I become jealous and comparing, I need to remember the very purpose of the gifts that God’s given us—to bring glory to Him! Second Corinthians 10: 17-18 says, “But ‘he who glories, let him glory in the Lord.’ For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends.”
It’s good to remember, too, that even when we *are* placed in a lower position, that doesn’t mean that God isn’t capable of raising us up in His timing or that He sees us as being of any lesser worth. God often uses our weaknesses to teach us humility. He says that His strength is made perfect in weakness! When we try our best, but fail to do as well as someone else, our own lack of human skill is such an opportunity for Him to teach us. He can show us more about Himself and use His strength to make us strong, often in ways that are so much more important than the outward displays of talent and ability that the world views with so much importance.
David is one of my favorite Biblical examples of someone who seemed to be more lowly than others (in this case his siblings), yet who was rewarded because of his heart. When Samuel tried to figure out whom he was to anoint as king, it appeared to Samuel that David’s brothers must surely be God’s anointed. But because of his heart, David was exalted. I love how his inward priority was Christ. I love how it still would have been Christ even if he’d been left tending the sheep in the field. The story of David is just a good reminder to me that man is often tempted to look at outward things that really are so unimportant compared to the heart. “The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.” I Sam. 18b
God doesn’t call us to compare ourselves with others. He just calls us to follow Him as steadfastly as we can and to bring Him glory in every way, but most of all by what’s inside our hearts that only He can ever fully see. We need to keep growing more like Christ so that we love more like He loves, realizing that we don’t need to be afraid of someone doing better than us even when we try our very hardest. He’s not afraid of it, and His opinion is what really matters! People, myself included, *will* look at outward accomplishments. This makes it hard not to judge my worth on what others value about me or think me to be, based on what they can see with their eyes. But our worth is in Christ, and when I struggle with being jealous or feeling incapable, I need to remember this. He is the one who makes us capable. It is before *God* that we stand or fall, not man, and it’s for Him that we labor, regardless of who seems to do a better job than we do. I’m just a vessel in great need of maturing and perfecting, but I know He can help us through this struggle!
Friday, January 11, 2008
Needed Faith Pep-talk ;)
So here’s the question:
What am I going to believe in?
Only the things that I think to be possible?
Or am I going to believe in the things that I think God is saying He wants to make possible?
Which of those options is more likely to be true?
It reminds me of how Susan and Peter didn’t believe that there could really be a Narnia until they believed that the one who told them about Narnia was no liar. If Edmund had been telling the truth instead of Lucy—that would be a first. And this would also be the first time that the arguments of my flesh and human mind wield greater truth than that which is spoken by my God.
God hasn’t proven to be wrong, but my understanding has been proven insufficient.
I don’t remember ever learning just how it could be possible for someone to come back to life, after being dead. But it happened.
I can’t figure out how the stars got up in the sky. But I see them every night.
I can’t quite grasp the fact that this world was around long before I was. But I know it was.
I don’t understand how something can come from nothing and how what was once dust can become living flesh. But here I am.
If only the things I can fathom could be true, I wouldn’t even be here.
So why is it, when it comes to believing God’s promises, that I falter?
I use the excuse that these things are too much for me to understand.
That something is difficult to understand doesn’t make it something to be tossed aside.
Such excuses don’t work very well when I’ve already been taught that understanding is not a prerequisite to believing.
I think that part of the reason I have trouble trusting is that I’m afraid to look like a fool.
Who wants to look like the pre-rain Noah?
Yet why should I care whether I look like a fool?
What does it matter?
Is it better to look like a fool for myself, or is it better to look like a fool for God?
If I don’t believe in what God promises, what kind of respect will that earn me anyway? Maybe I’ll hold onto the kind of respect that doesn’t last, but not the kind I desire.
If I didn’t mind looking like a fool, if I didn’t mind looking like a fool, if I didn’t mind looking like a fool, then I know what I would believe deep down in my heart about certain situations. So maybe I should stop acting foolishly and just start believing without apologizing for the fact that some of what I’m believing in doesn’t look too possible.
“Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender, without losing all control?
Fearless warriors and a picket fence. Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense.
Deep water faith in the shallow end. And we are caught in the middle, with eyes wide open to the differences—the God we want, and the God who is…
Somewhere between the boat and crashing waves…” (Casting Crowns)
If I can’t believe His Word, whose word can I believe?
And if I believe with all my heart that He is directing my life and that He is the voice behind me telling me the way to walk in, then what do I have to worry about? What can man do to me? Nothing. Nothing.
And if I’ve made mistakes, is He not able to see beyond them and fix them?
And if other people make mistakes or haven’t done what they’ve needed to do, do I need to be bitter and faithless or do I need to forgive and keep trusting? Other people can’t stop God from being true to me. They can’t stop me from walking in God’s promises; only I can. People might fail me at times. Sometimes I’ve counted on people and they haven’t done what I thought I needed them to do. Sometimes I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting to see how those other people would help bring to pass the promises I thought God had spoken.
But it really doesn’t matter if other people haven’t been everything I wanted them to be. For out of all the sinners I know, I am the worst. I have plenty of work to do on my own character, and maybe even what I view to be the wrongs of others are thorns in my own flesh to help me grow and to help shave down this log in my eye that keeps blocking me from correctly seeing things. I don’t know anyone else’s thoughts and doubts, but I do know that mine can certainly be pretty terrible.
I am called to trust God, and I am called to believe that even if those other people make mistakes and haven’t done what I was hoping they would do, God will be true even if it looks like trust is getting me nowhere. Other peoples’ actions are not more powerful than God’s promises, and other people cannot stop me from following Him with all of my heart.
What if Abraham hadn’t believed? What if he hadn’t passed the test? What if he hadn’t shown God that he loved Him more than he loved himself or anyone else?
But he passed the test! He believed that death was not as powerful as God’s promises. He knew beyond a doubt what God had promised him, and when it looked like God was threatening this promise, he kept on believing that God would be true, even if it required that God raise up Abraham’s son from the dead in order to keep His word.
NOTHING is too hard for God. Nothing is impossible for God. Nothing is too difficult for God. Nothing is beyond God’s abilities. No difficulty is beyond God’s comprehension. No problem is beyond God’s fixing abilities. No mistake is beyond God’s redemption. No trial is beyond God’s grace. No battle is too big for Him to protect us within it. No storm is too hard for Him to stop. No sorrow is unable to be reached by God’s joy. No struggle is unable to be touched by His peace. No mountain is too hard for Him to climb. No valley is too deep for Him to reach into. No gift is too hard for Him to give. No person is too hard for Him to change. No spark is too small for Him to blow into flame. No life is too short for Him to use. No person is too unimportant for Him to choose. No giant is too hard for Him to kill. No fear is too big for Him to conquer. No enemy is too wily for God to ensnare. No mind is beyond God’s changing. No chain is too thick for Him to break.
No promise is too hard for Him to keep!
Nothing is impossible with God!
I don’t care if His promises are too hard for me to bring about. (okay, maybe I do care, but that means I need to work on it ;D) Why should that matter, when He can do anything? His strength is made perfect in my weakness! His grace is sufficient for me! He won’t withhold from me anything that is truly good for me, even difficult circumstances and lessons that need to be learned.
And even if sometimes I turn out to be wrong about what I really believe is His way, isn't it better to live a life that walks by faith despite the fact that I am but humanity?
He is too wonderful for me.
“Giver of every breath I breathe, Author of all eternity. Giver of every perfect thing, to You be the glory. Maker of heaven and of earth, no one can comprehend Your worth. King over all the universe, to You be the glory. And I am alive because I’m alive in You. It’s all because of Jesus I’m alive. It’s all because the blood of Jesus Christ covers me and raised this dead man’s life.” (Casting Crowns)
What am I going to believe in?
Only the things that I think to be possible?
Or am I going to believe in the things that I think God is saying He wants to make possible?
Which of those options is more likely to be true?
It reminds me of how Susan and Peter didn’t believe that there could really be a Narnia until they believed that the one who told them about Narnia was no liar. If Edmund had been telling the truth instead of Lucy—that would be a first. And this would also be the first time that the arguments of my flesh and human mind wield greater truth than that which is spoken by my God.
God hasn’t proven to be wrong, but my understanding has been proven insufficient.
I don’t remember ever learning just how it could be possible for someone to come back to life, after being dead. But it happened.
I can’t figure out how the stars got up in the sky. But I see them every night.
I can’t quite grasp the fact that this world was around long before I was. But I know it was.
I don’t understand how something can come from nothing and how what was once dust can become living flesh. But here I am.
If only the things I can fathom could be true, I wouldn’t even be here.
So why is it, when it comes to believing God’s promises, that I falter?
I use the excuse that these things are too much for me to understand.
That something is difficult to understand doesn’t make it something to be tossed aside.
Such excuses don’t work very well when I’ve already been taught that understanding is not a prerequisite to believing.
I think that part of the reason I have trouble trusting is that I’m afraid to look like a fool.
Who wants to look like the pre-rain Noah?
Yet why should I care whether I look like a fool?
What does it matter?
Is it better to look like a fool for myself, or is it better to look like a fool for God?
If I don’t believe in what God promises, what kind of respect will that earn me anyway? Maybe I’ll hold onto the kind of respect that doesn’t last, but not the kind I desire.
If I didn’t mind looking like a fool, if I didn’t mind looking like a fool, if I didn’t mind looking like a fool, then I know what I would believe deep down in my heart about certain situations. So maybe I should stop acting foolishly and just start believing without apologizing for the fact that some of what I’m believing in doesn’t look too possible.
“Just how close can I get, Lord, to my surrender, without losing all control?
Fearless warriors and a picket fence. Reckless abandon wrapped in common sense.
Deep water faith in the shallow end. And we are caught in the middle, with eyes wide open to the differences—the God we want, and the God who is…
Somewhere between the boat and crashing waves…” (Casting Crowns)
If I can’t believe His Word, whose word can I believe?
And if I believe with all my heart that He is directing my life and that He is the voice behind me telling me the way to walk in, then what do I have to worry about? What can man do to me? Nothing. Nothing.
And if I’ve made mistakes, is He not able to see beyond them and fix them?
And if other people make mistakes or haven’t done what they’ve needed to do, do I need to be bitter and faithless or do I need to forgive and keep trusting? Other people can’t stop God from being true to me. They can’t stop me from walking in God’s promises; only I can. People might fail me at times. Sometimes I’ve counted on people and they haven’t done what I thought I needed them to do. Sometimes I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting to see how those other people would help bring to pass the promises I thought God had spoken.
But it really doesn’t matter if other people haven’t been everything I wanted them to be. For out of all the sinners I know, I am the worst. I have plenty of work to do on my own character, and maybe even what I view to be the wrongs of others are thorns in my own flesh to help me grow and to help shave down this log in my eye that keeps blocking me from correctly seeing things. I don’t know anyone else’s thoughts and doubts, but I do know that mine can certainly be pretty terrible.
I am called to trust God, and I am called to believe that even if those other people make mistakes and haven’t done what I was hoping they would do, God will be true even if it looks like trust is getting me nowhere. Other peoples’ actions are not more powerful than God’s promises, and other people cannot stop me from following Him with all of my heart.
What if Abraham hadn’t believed? What if he hadn’t passed the test? What if he hadn’t shown God that he loved Him more than he loved himself or anyone else?
But he passed the test! He believed that death was not as powerful as God’s promises. He knew beyond a doubt what God had promised him, and when it looked like God was threatening this promise, he kept on believing that God would be true, even if it required that God raise up Abraham’s son from the dead in order to keep His word.
NOTHING is too hard for God. Nothing is impossible for God. Nothing is too difficult for God. Nothing is beyond God’s abilities. No difficulty is beyond God’s comprehension. No problem is beyond God’s fixing abilities. No mistake is beyond God’s redemption. No trial is beyond God’s grace. No battle is too big for Him to protect us within it. No storm is too hard for Him to stop. No sorrow is unable to be reached by God’s joy. No struggle is unable to be touched by His peace. No mountain is too hard for Him to climb. No valley is too deep for Him to reach into. No gift is too hard for Him to give. No person is too hard for Him to change. No spark is too small for Him to blow into flame. No life is too short for Him to use. No person is too unimportant for Him to choose. No giant is too hard for Him to kill. No fear is too big for Him to conquer. No enemy is too wily for God to ensnare. No mind is beyond God’s changing. No chain is too thick for Him to break.
No promise is too hard for Him to keep!
Nothing is impossible with God!
I don’t care if His promises are too hard for me to bring about. (okay, maybe I do care, but that means I need to work on it ;D) Why should that matter, when He can do anything? His strength is made perfect in my weakness! His grace is sufficient for me! He won’t withhold from me anything that is truly good for me, even difficult circumstances and lessons that need to be learned.
And even if sometimes I turn out to be wrong about what I really believe is His way, isn't it better to live a life that walks by faith despite the fact that I am but humanity?
He is too wonderful for me.
“Giver of every breath I breathe, Author of all eternity. Giver of every perfect thing, to You be the glory. Maker of heaven and of earth, no one can comprehend Your worth. King over all the universe, to You be the glory. And I am alive because I’m alive in You. It’s all because of Jesus I’m alive. It’s all because the blood of Jesus Christ covers me and raised this dead man’s life.” (Casting Crowns)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Humble Friendship
A couple of weeks ago, I was thinking about my attitude about friendship and relationships (almost a trite topic, eh? ;-)).
I realized that I don't necessarily enjoy the fact that being looked upon as "just a friend" in some sense seems to delegate me to a lower position in the affections of others. Isn't it true that when certain people express disinterest about considering more than friendship, we can feel "not good enough" or "less qualified" ? To be treated as no more important than any other, to take the lowly position--this can be difficult.
In a sense, though, doesn't this seem to be a struggle between grateful humility and selfish ambition? When it really comes down to it, isn't it so much better to be called up, to be summoned to a higher position not because we were striving to please others, but because other people recognize Christ within us as we let our focus rest on Him rather than on impressing others? Because I'm a girl who appreciates it when men are the initiators of advancing relationships from friendship to romance, I have a great opportunity contentedly be a servant in relationships, without needing to try to gain a higher position for my own self. (if only I always were faithful to use the opportunity! ;-)) The goal doesn't need to be to draw attention to myself or to climb to higher places in my own strength because of my own desires. In relationships and in every area of life, too often when we seek positions in our own strength we see that the consequence is being delegated to a low position in the end.
It reminds me of the parable in Luke 14, in which Jesus admonishes us not to seek the high positions for ourselves, since when we do so, we only put ourselves in danger of being publicly humiliated and humbled. It's better to be content with humility in the first place and to be exalted in due time.
I'm not saying that once we're content with friendship, we'll automatically be exalted to the position of marriage. ;-) All I'm really saying is that right now we all have different opportunities to rejoice in the positions God has called us to. Since what He's called me to today is friendship and Christ-like agape love, rather than human romance, I've got the chance to be joyful in this state. Friendship is a great gift, and while sometimes we may desire more, if we don't give thanks even when we're in a more humble state in man's affections, we won't really be fit to be exalted. Anyway, no matter how humble our positions ever are here on earth--whether our humble places be in the realm of our jobs, relationships, or any other area of life--none of that really matters so much when we consider the fact that we're never in a low place in the affections, concern, and thoughts of the God of the universe.
I don't know if I could really ask for anything better than this--to know that God's thoughts towards me are more than the sands of the sea, and that He's with me and thinking of me wherever I am, whether I am humbled or exalted!
That's the kind of attitude I want to have.
No matter what state I'm in, I want to be content and to remember that my strength is in Christ. Yesterday I needed His strength. Today I needed His strength. Tomorrow I'll need His strength. In the humble positions I need His strength. In the exalted positions I need His strength. In friendship I need His strength. If I marry, I'll need His strength...no doubt about it. ;-)
May we always be humble in every place He takes us.
May we never exalt ourselves, but do all for His glory alone.
May we find joy in His loving wisdom as He brings us through different seasons! =D
I realized that I don't necessarily enjoy the fact that being looked upon as "just a friend" in some sense seems to delegate me to a lower position in the affections of others. Isn't it true that when certain people express disinterest about considering more than friendship, we can feel "not good enough" or "less qualified" ? To be treated as no more important than any other, to take the lowly position--this can be difficult.
In a sense, though, doesn't this seem to be a struggle between grateful humility and selfish ambition? When it really comes down to it, isn't it so much better to be called up, to be summoned to a higher position not because we were striving to please others, but because other people recognize Christ within us as we let our focus rest on Him rather than on impressing others? Because I'm a girl who appreciates it when men are the initiators of advancing relationships from friendship to romance, I have a great opportunity contentedly be a servant in relationships, without needing to try to gain a higher position for my own self. (if only I always were faithful to use the opportunity! ;-)) The goal doesn't need to be to draw attention to myself or to climb to higher places in my own strength because of my own desires. In relationships and in every area of life, too often when we seek positions in our own strength we see that the consequence is being delegated to a low position in the end.
It reminds me of the parable in Luke 14, in which Jesus admonishes us not to seek the high positions for ourselves, since when we do so, we only put ourselves in danger of being publicly humiliated and humbled. It's better to be content with humility in the first place and to be exalted in due time.
"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be
exalted.” (verse 11)
I'm not saying that once we're content with friendship, we'll automatically be exalted to the position of marriage. ;-) All I'm really saying is that right now we all have different opportunities to rejoice in the positions God has called us to. Since what He's called me to today is friendship and Christ-like agape love, rather than human romance, I've got the chance to be joyful in this state. Friendship is a great gift, and while sometimes we may desire more, if we don't give thanks even when we're in a more humble state in man's affections, we won't really be fit to be exalted. Anyway, no matter how humble our positions ever are here on earth--whether our humble places be in the realm of our jobs, relationships, or any other area of life--none of that really matters so much when we consider the fact that we're never in a low place in the affections, concern, and thoughts of the God of the universe.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. Ps. 139
I don't know if I could really ask for anything better than this--to know that God's thoughts towards me are more than the sands of the sea, and that He's with me and thinking of me wherever I am, whether I am humbled or exalted!
"I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11b-13
That's the kind of attitude I want to have.
No matter what state I'm in, I want to be content and to remember that my strength is in Christ. Yesterday I needed His strength. Today I needed His strength. Tomorrow I'll need His strength. In the humble positions I need His strength. In the exalted positions I need His strength. In friendship I need His strength. If I marry, I'll need His strength...no doubt about it. ;-)
May we always be humble in every place He takes us.
May we never exalt ourselves, but do all for His glory alone.
May we find joy in His loving wisdom as He brings us through different seasons! =D
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Thoughts on Sarcasm
Sarcasm was the topic of discussion recently in an online forum I'm part of, so I started giving the topic some thought...
It's actually something that's bothered me for a while, but it's difficult to make sure I don't misuse sarcasm. I try not to use it too often, but sometimes I definitely make the mistake of using it inappropriately, still. ;-)
If I allow sarcastic speech to become a comfortable habit, I know that I’ll end up hurting peoples' feelings--it's happened in the past when unwise sarcastic comments have slipped out of my mouth. I can think of situations when I just went too far and the sarcasm became hurtful. Sarcasm can even be an easy way for me to insult someone in a way that appears to be merely silliness or good-natured fun. It can be tempting to use it that way, since it’s easier than being obviously unkind and simply saying, “I don’t like this about you,” or, “You really bother me.” ;-) If my heart isn’t right and if I haven’t given any negative thoughts over to God, saying something negative about someone in a sarcastic way is just going to be a manifestation of my wrong heart attitude.
Perhaps it can be beneficial if used in an uplifting, fun way. Merry hearts and laugher are like medicine! Yet I probably have seen more hurtful sarcasm than beneficial sarcasm. I’ve even observed from a distance a couple of marriages in which the couples call each other names and mock each others’ faults through sarcasm. How opposite that is from acting in a way that will show others we’re Christians by our love.
When I'm not sure if sarcasm is something my speech should not be, Scripture tells me what my speech should be!
Ecc. 10:12 “Words from a wise man's mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips.”
Prov. 12:18 “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Matthew 12: 34b-37 “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken…"
My words should be gracious. They should bring healing rather than pain. They should consist of good words, coming from the overflow of my heart. I’ve seen some silly sarcasm among friends that wasn’t out of line with those things, but I’ve also seen sarcasm that seemed to be just the opposite of what our words should be.
I know that we’re supposed to love with our actions, not just with words. But since words can show our heart, it does seem important to let our words and hearts reflect the love that we should already be showing in our actions!
As I was thinking about this and looking up some Scriptures, I came across Job 12:11, which says this: “Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food?” When David talks about the words of God in Psalm 119:103, he says, “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Wow, that’s the way I want my words to be! So often I fall short of speaking in a Christ-like way. If someone tested my words just like they taste food, they wouldn’t always see that my words are gracious, healing, and from a loving heart. But I really do want others to “see that the Lord is good” when they taste my words! I need to make more careful choices about when I’m going to use sarcasm and when I’m going to refrain from it. Too often I let words leave my mouth without reigning them in first, saying what I don't want to say, and not saying what I do want to say! God, guard my mouth!
It's actually something that's bothered me for a while, but it's difficult to make sure I don't misuse sarcasm. I try not to use it too often, but sometimes I definitely make the mistake of using it inappropriately, still. ;-)
If I allow sarcastic speech to become a comfortable habit, I know that I’ll end up hurting peoples' feelings--it's happened in the past when unwise sarcastic comments have slipped out of my mouth. I can think of situations when I just went too far and the sarcasm became hurtful. Sarcasm can even be an easy way for me to insult someone in a way that appears to be merely silliness or good-natured fun. It can be tempting to use it that way, since it’s easier than being obviously unkind and simply saying, “I don’t like this about you,” or, “You really bother me.” ;-) If my heart isn’t right and if I haven’t given any negative thoughts over to God, saying something negative about someone in a sarcastic way is just going to be a manifestation of my wrong heart attitude.
Perhaps it can be beneficial if used in an uplifting, fun way. Merry hearts and laugher are like medicine! Yet I probably have seen more hurtful sarcasm than beneficial sarcasm. I’ve even observed from a distance a couple of marriages in which the couples call each other names and mock each others’ faults through sarcasm. How opposite that is from acting in a way that will show others we’re Christians by our love.
When I'm not sure if sarcasm is something my speech should not be, Scripture tells me what my speech should be!
Ecc. 10:12 “Words from a wise man's mouth are gracious, but a fool is consumed by his own lips.”
Prov. 12:18 “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.”
Matthew 12: 34b-37 “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him. But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken…"
My words should be gracious. They should bring healing rather than pain. They should consist of good words, coming from the overflow of my heart. I’ve seen some silly sarcasm among friends that wasn’t out of line with those things, but I’ve also seen sarcasm that seemed to be just the opposite of what our words should be.
I know that we’re supposed to love with our actions, not just with words. But since words can show our heart, it does seem important to let our words and hearts reflect the love that we should already be showing in our actions!
As I was thinking about this and looking up some Scriptures, I came across Job 12:11, which says this: “Does not the ear test words as the tongue tastes food?” When David talks about the words of God in Psalm 119:103, he says, “How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!” Wow, that’s the way I want my words to be! So often I fall short of speaking in a Christ-like way. If someone tested my words just like they taste food, they wouldn’t always see that my words are gracious, healing, and from a loving heart. But I really do want others to “see that the Lord is good” when they taste my words! I need to make more careful choices about when I’m going to use sarcasm and when I’m going to refrain from it. Too often I let words leave my mouth without reigning them in first, saying what I don't want to say, and not saying what I do want to say! God, guard my mouth!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Perfect Love
I've been thinking lately about how immature my love must be, for I'm seeing that my human ability to love is polluted with fear. Perfect love is supposed to cast out fear, not to tolerate fear, and certainly not to cause it. ;-) I've been thinking about how ironic it is that often when we feel ourselves beginning to care about someone in a more intense and intimate way, our feelings are surrounded by fear-- fear about what the other person thinks about us, fear regarding our own vulnerability. How imperfect our (my!) treatment of love can be.
First of all, I see how often I'm selfish when it comes to my relationship with Christ. How many times must He be saddened because I put other people or things first? I wonder if it's ever hard for Him to see me make mistakes because of how fervently He desires for me to be more mature and more like Him in His perfection. He must see how much more of me there is that I could give to Him, how much more faithfully I could do Him good and not evil all the days of my life (Prov. 31). I remember times in the past before I really had a relationship with Him when I was afraid to tell Him certain things, afraid of what He'd think if only He knew that I thought the last church service was...boring. It was as if He didn't know; I was treating Him as if He were under the delusion that I was a lot more flawless than I truly was. ;-)
And sometimes these things seem to carry over into my relationships with other people. I wish I didn't care one iota if I were to become of absolutely no reputation, as did the One I should be striving to emulate out of love unaffected by the world around me. I need to work on allowing Him to eradicate selfishness from within me. In my own struggles to love people like He does, it seems to be the main cause of the fear that taints. If I would only keep my mind even more stayed on Him, I'd find peace so much more perfect, peace not disturbed by emotions. I need Him to teach me to love people without caring whether it ever benefits me. I want to be able to love simply for the sake of loving. I want to love in the greatest sense of the word, in a willing-to-lay-my-life-down for the sake of my friends way, even in the every-day sense of thinking of them first and giving of myself time after time when it seems like it might be easier to just demonstrate my love for them once and for all with a single sacrificial plunge. If I allow my friendships to be self-centered, I'll fail miserably in keeping the two greatest commandments--to love God first and my neighbor as myself. I want to love in a way that doesn't seek it's own, that doesn't think evil, that isn't easily provoked, that isn't envious, that suffers long, that does a good job of covering sins, that bears, believes, hopes, and endures.
Love covers a multitude of sins.
Love leaves no room for a multitude of sins.
Help me not to fear...
First of all, I see how often I'm selfish when it comes to my relationship with Christ. How many times must He be saddened because I put other people or things first? I wonder if it's ever hard for Him to see me make mistakes because of how fervently He desires for me to be more mature and more like Him in His perfection. He must see how much more of me there is that I could give to Him, how much more faithfully I could do Him good and not evil all the days of my life (Prov. 31). I remember times in the past before I really had a relationship with Him when I was afraid to tell Him certain things, afraid of what He'd think if only He knew that I thought the last church service was...boring. It was as if He didn't know; I was treating Him as if He were under the delusion that I was a lot more flawless than I truly was. ;-)
And sometimes these things seem to carry over into my relationships with other people. I wish I didn't care one iota if I were to become of absolutely no reputation, as did the One I should be striving to emulate out of love unaffected by the world around me. I need to work on allowing Him to eradicate selfishness from within me. In my own struggles to love people like He does, it seems to be the main cause of the fear that taints. If I would only keep my mind even more stayed on Him, I'd find peace so much more perfect, peace not disturbed by emotions. I need Him to teach me to love people without caring whether it ever benefits me. I want to be able to love simply for the sake of loving. I want to love in the greatest sense of the word, in a willing-to-lay-my-life-down for the sake of my friends way, even in the every-day sense of thinking of them first and giving of myself time after time when it seems like it might be easier to just demonstrate my love for them once and for all with a single sacrificial plunge. If I allow my friendships to be self-centered, I'll fail miserably in keeping the two greatest commandments--to love God first and my neighbor as myself. I want to love in a way that doesn't seek it's own, that doesn't think evil, that isn't easily provoked, that isn't envious, that suffers long, that does a good job of covering sins, that bears, believes, hopes, and endures.
Love covers a multitude of sins.
Love leaves no room for a multitude of sins.
Help me not to fear...
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