Something I’ve been pondering for the past year or so is how to keep focusing on God and loving others even when I struggle with what God’s doing in their lives.
How do I react when a close friend goes on a several-month mission trip that doesn’t provide a lot of time/ability for them to keep in touch with me and I know they’re getting close to other people over there? What if a friend goes away to the college I wanted to go to? What if a friend feels that God is leading them to stop communicating with me for a season in order to give more of their time and focus to God?
I’m so grateful for all of these people and their obedience to God! But sometimes isn’t it hard to be genuinely happy about the practical aspect of others’ obedience and how it touches us?
When God leads our friends to make sacrifices that affect our own lives too, it’s hard. When I’ve encountered this kind of situation, it’s almost like I wasn’t expecting it –for their journey to touch my own sense of happiness and well-being in that manner.
It reminds me of something that upset me when I was little. I had a friend whose parents would punish her by canceling her playdate with me when she misbehaved. Her learning process was affecting my plans and pleasure. I never really thought that was a fair punishment (and still don’t) because of how it punished me, too, even if I’d been helping my mom get ready and clean for company.
But in a just way, even now there are times when the tests and learning experiences God brings to His other children touch me as well. It’s not usually that the other person is facing consequences for anything wrong they did. It’s just that sometimes when the path my friend is on takes a curve, my own nearby path takes a curve as well to accommodate the pathway being carved out for them. Ultimately, this direction is going to be used for my good as well, but that doesn’t always seem to be the case at first.
A Bible story God really used to teach me about this was the story of Abraham and Isaac. I wonder what Isaac must have felt when he found out that Abraham’s sacrifice was HIM. I’d imagine it must have been relatively easy to go out of his way to support his father on the journey before he realized that the journey could have a serious impact on his own life and future.
In a similar (but so much smaller!) way, it’s so much easier for me to support people in making sacrifices for God if those sacrifices don’t involve me or my happiness. I want my life to be a sacrifice to God, but when it feels like it’s other people sacrificing me and my desires it’s not so easy to be selfless. I’m not saying that we should let ourselves be abused by other people. I’m just saying that when God asks someone else to serve Him in a way that touches my emotions, affects my day, or puts a wrench in my own plans, I need to focus on God as the source of my joy and hope. There’s no excuse for me to be angry at other people for delivering to me an opportunity from God to seek Him and find my satisfaction in Him.
When the test and journey God has for one of my friends involves laying me down for a time, it’s not easy. Honestly, it can be such a struggle to keep the right attitude, not be angry at the other person, and not assume it means they just want to get rid of you. The first time I actually recognized this kind of thing for what it was, I still didn’t do so well with it. ;-) I’m obviously not capable of doing well in my own ability.
But God is a good teacher and He’s since given me more opportunities to learn and grow in this area (yay? ;-)) and to let Him keep me happy. I’m really trying to be consistently satisfied in Him even when other people don’t do exactly what I would have wanted them to do, though I still often fail and see my own weakness in this area.
There have been times when I’ve lost sight of the joy and contentment God was graciously giving me, but He keeps being so faithful to uphold with His word, speak encouragement, and remind me that He’s trustworthy.
Our lives are in good hands!
I’m so glad that His strength is perfected in our weaknesses and that He can bring glory to Himself as He enables us to do what we couldn’t do on our own.
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Humble Friendship
A couple of weeks ago, I was thinking about my attitude about friendship and relationships (almost a trite topic, eh? ;-)).
I realized that I don't necessarily enjoy the fact that being looked upon as "just a friend" in some sense seems to delegate me to a lower position in the affections of others. Isn't it true that when certain people express disinterest about considering more than friendship, we can feel "not good enough" or "less qualified" ? To be treated as no more important than any other, to take the lowly position--this can be difficult.
In a sense, though, doesn't this seem to be a struggle between grateful humility and selfish ambition? When it really comes down to it, isn't it so much better to be called up, to be summoned to a higher position not because we were striving to please others, but because other people recognize Christ within us as we let our focus rest on Him rather than on impressing others? Because I'm a girl who appreciates it when men are the initiators of advancing relationships from friendship to romance, I have a great opportunity contentedly be a servant in relationships, without needing to try to gain a higher position for my own self. (if only I always were faithful to use the opportunity! ;-)) The goal doesn't need to be to draw attention to myself or to climb to higher places in my own strength because of my own desires. In relationships and in every area of life, too often when we seek positions in our own strength we see that the consequence is being delegated to a low position in the end.
It reminds me of the parable in Luke 14, in which Jesus admonishes us not to seek the high positions for ourselves, since when we do so, we only put ourselves in danger of being publicly humiliated and humbled. It's better to be content with humility in the first place and to be exalted in due time.
I'm not saying that once we're content with friendship, we'll automatically be exalted to the position of marriage. ;-) All I'm really saying is that right now we all have different opportunities to rejoice in the positions God has called us to. Since what He's called me to today is friendship and Christ-like agape love, rather than human romance, I've got the chance to be joyful in this state. Friendship is a great gift, and while sometimes we may desire more, if we don't give thanks even when we're in a more humble state in man's affections, we won't really be fit to be exalted. Anyway, no matter how humble our positions ever are here on earth--whether our humble places be in the realm of our jobs, relationships, or any other area of life--none of that really matters so much when we consider the fact that we're never in a low place in the affections, concern, and thoughts of the God of the universe.
I don't know if I could really ask for anything better than this--to know that God's thoughts towards me are more than the sands of the sea, and that He's with me and thinking of me wherever I am, whether I am humbled or exalted!
That's the kind of attitude I want to have.
No matter what state I'm in, I want to be content and to remember that my strength is in Christ. Yesterday I needed His strength. Today I needed His strength. Tomorrow I'll need His strength. In the humble positions I need His strength. In the exalted positions I need His strength. In friendship I need His strength. If I marry, I'll need His strength...no doubt about it. ;-)
May we always be humble in every place He takes us.
May we never exalt ourselves, but do all for His glory alone.
May we find joy in His loving wisdom as He brings us through different seasons! =D
I realized that I don't necessarily enjoy the fact that being looked upon as "just a friend" in some sense seems to delegate me to a lower position in the affections of others. Isn't it true that when certain people express disinterest about considering more than friendship, we can feel "not good enough" or "less qualified" ? To be treated as no more important than any other, to take the lowly position--this can be difficult.
In a sense, though, doesn't this seem to be a struggle between grateful humility and selfish ambition? When it really comes down to it, isn't it so much better to be called up, to be summoned to a higher position not because we were striving to please others, but because other people recognize Christ within us as we let our focus rest on Him rather than on impressing others? Because I'm a girl who appreciates it when men are the initiators of advancing relationships from friendship to romance, I have a great opportunity contentedly be a servant in relationships, without needing to try to gain a higher position for my own self. (if only I always were faithful to use the opportunity! ;-)) The goal doesn't need to be to draw attention to myself or to climb to higher places in my own strength because of my own desires. In relationships and in every area of life, too often when we seek positions in our own strength we see that the consequence is being delegated to a low position in the end.
It reminds me of the parable in Luke 14, in which Jesus admonishes us not to seek the high positions for ourselves, since when we do so, we only put ourselves in danger of being publicly humiliated and humbled. It's better to be content with humility in the first place and to be exalted in due time.
"For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be
exalted.” (verse 11)
I'm not saying that once we're content with friendship, we'll automatically be exalted to the position of marriage. ;-) All I'm really saying is that right now we all have different opportunities to rejoice in the positions God has called us to. Since what He's called me to today is friendship and Christ-like agape love, rather than human romance, I've got the chance to be joyful in this state. Friendship is a great gift, and while sometimes we may desire more, if we don't give thanks even when we're in a more humble state in man's affections, we won't really be fit to be exalted. Anyway, no matter how humble our positions ever are here on earth--whether our humble places be in the realm of our jobs, relationships, or any other area of life--none of that really matters so much when we consider the fact that we're never in a low place in the affections, concern, and thoughts of the God of the universe.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; When I awake, I am still with You. Ps. 139
I don't know if I could really ask for anything better than this--to know that God's thoughts towards me are more than the sands of the sea, and that He's with me and thinking of me wherever I am, whether I am humbled or exalted!
"I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content: I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11b-13
That's the kind of attitude I want to have.
No matter what state I'm in, I want to be content and to remember that my strength is in Christ. Yesterday I needed His strength. Today I needed His strength. Tomorrow I'll need His strength. In the humble positions I need His strength. In the exalted positions I need His strength. In friendship I need His strength. If I marry, I'll need His strength...no doubt about it. ;-)
May we always be humble in every place He takes us.
May we never exalt ourselves, but do all for His glory alone.
May we find joy in His loving wisdom as He brings us through different seasons! =D
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)